The Curious Matter of Pizza
by Erik'sTrueAngel
Summary: How Hatter came up with the pizza line...


Rated: G or K

Genre: General/Humor

Summary: How Hatter came up with the pizza line…

Disclaimer: Syfy owns all the characters of _Alice_. I'm a poor college student who borrowed them for my amusement.

A/N: So it was bugging me why Hatter would suggest getting pizza. I don't think Wonderland has pizza, but I thought there should be something that might explain that random suggestion. I figured the best place for that subject to come up would be the fire scene before eating the barbeque borogoves. Yummy. Enjoy and feel free to leave a review! They make my day!

The Curious Matter of Pizza

By: Erik'sTrueAngel

"Believe it or not this used to be the throne room," the White Knight sadly informed his two guests as they stood in front what was left of the Red King. "Now all that remains is the throne." A moment of silence passed over between the three when an ungodly roar echoed in the silence.

Embarrassed, Alice laid her hand over her stomach. "I guess I'm hungry," she said sheepishly.

"Running from the posse and the Jabberwocky sure works up an appetite!" Hatter grinned. "So Charlie… whadda you have to eat around here?"

"In honor of Alice of Legend a feast it should be!" Charlie exclaimed. "Unfortunately, the dining area was also destroyed and there are hardly any decent dishes that we could eat off of."

The raven-haired girl smiled. "It's okay Charlie. You don't need to do anything special. I'm just plain Alice, remember?"

"Well, Just Plain Alice, I will do what I can as second best that would befit you."

Hatter rolled his eyes and let out a soft snort. Hearing him, Charlie glared at the young man with the hat. "While I'm out hunting, you vassal prepare the fire."

Alice fought back a grin as Hatter scowled, "I am _not_ a vassal!"

"You are in company of Alice of Legend so vassal you are."

"I am no vassal to anyone! The name's Hatter and I run—ran the Tea Shop! I'm a businessman not some lowly servant."

"Uh-ha! Ran as in past tense so you are nothing—"

"Okay guys," Alice interrupted, getting in between them. "For argument's sake, I am not this Alice of Legend so Hatter is not my vassal. I'm quite capable of taking care of myself so let's drop it. Charlie, you can do the hunting, and Hatter, I'll help you with the fire. Deal?"

"He started it," Hatter mumbled while the Knight stuck his nose in the air.

"Very well Just Plain Alice. I shall return with a meal you will never forget!" Charlie declared and turned to walk off into the forest.

"Rubbernecker," Hatter said behind the White Knight's back, which earned a sharp jab from Alice. "Ow! What was that for?" he asked, rubbing his arm.

She glared at him. "Be nice Hatter. He's helping us."

"Well, I'm not a vassal."

"I know that. Can you let it go? Please?"

He thought for a moment. "I can't promise anything."

Alice rolled her eyes. "It's like dealing with kids," she muttered. "All right Hatter. Let's get this fire going so we don't freeze our butts off."

It didn't take long for them to gather enough wood—small logs and sticks— to throw in the fire-pit but figuring out how to start it took some brainstorming. The contraption that Charlie had built next to it had the heroes scratching their heads on how to get it to work.

"If only I had a lighter," Alice said. "Then it would light up in no time."

"You're not going to find any lighters here. Too expensive. We, Wonderlanders, like to do things in an innovative way. As you can see."

"Oh?" Alice raised a thin dark eyebrow. "How do you propose we get this fire started?"

"Easy." Hatter grabbed a couple of sticks, making a cross, and began to rub them together. Alice stayed back, amused, while he rubbed the sticks faster and faster to get a spark. To his mounting frustration, the sticks weren't working. "Blast it!"

"Lemme try." Alice grabbed a couple new sticks and started to rub them together.

"It's not going to work—oh look at that."

Alice got a spark and soon the flames began to grow as it swallowed each piece of wood.

"Well, I feel useless as a man." Hatter frowned, wrapping his arms over his chest.

Alice stood up and brushed off some of the dirt on her dress. "Don't feel bad Hatter. You're looking at a former Girl Scout."

He tilted his head. "Girl Scout?"

"Yeah. It's a group for children, specifically girls, and we would do different types of volunteer work in the community and earn badges for learning new skills and good deeds. There's also the Boy Scouts too for little boys and they did pretty much the same thing as us. The only difference was that we sold cookies while they sold popcorn tin cans. Anyways, every year, we would go on a camping trip and each girl would take a turn to start the campfire. It took me a long time before I got the hang of it."

"I see." Hatter nodded, although he couldn't figure out why they would add 'scout' to girls and boys. Scouts were used in wars and such to look for enemies hiding around. But he guessed Alice knew what she was talking about.

Dusk was settling in and Charlie hadn't returned yet from his hunting. Alice watched as Hatter poke the fire to keep it going, his brow furrowed in deep concentration.

"I'm sorry about your tea shop," she said quietly.

He shrugged as he threw the stick in the pit. "It's all right Alice. Stuff happens."

"No, it's not," she told him. "If you hadn't helped me, then—"

"Now, don't go blaming yourself," Hatter scolded. "I knew exactly what I was doing and the consequences if I was ever caught helping the Resistance. 'Tis a blessing that I lasted as long as I did. I have no regrets and neither should you."

Alice didn't look convinced. "But I can't help but feel I was somewhat partially to blame."

"You Oysters are sure mountains of trouble," Hatter joked. "That's no lie. Yet, what is happening is the bigger crime. The Queen has to be stopped. There's no denying that."

"Yeah," Alice agreed. And her stomach began growling once more.

Hatter didn't bother to hide his smirk. "You weren't kidding about being hungry."

"Can't help it. The last time I ate was dinner with Mom and Jack." Her face fell after saying those words. That dinner seemed like days ago when everything was going so perfect. Her mother was enthralled by Jack's charms, and even Alice couldn't help a part of her falling for him all over again. There was only one thing she would have changed.

She wouldn't have let Jack leave.

That didn't mean she would have said yes to what had to have been a proposal. Alice still wasn't sure about that part of the relationship. She knew she wanted a future with Jack, but not for it to come up so quickly. She needed time. But she had no doubt that in time her answer would be yes. Just not at this moment.

Yes… she would have done anything to go back and make sure Jack didn't leave the apartment.

Obviously that wasn't going to happen. Neither was keeping Hatter's shop from being raided by the posse.

While Alice was musing to herself, she failed to notice the crestfallen expression on Hatter's face or the unusual silence coming from him. However, their silence was disrupted by her stomach again.

"God, I wonder what's keeping Charlie?" Alice groaned, twisting her head around in hopes to catch the White Knight or hear the clanking of his armor.

"Bread and butter," Hatter said suddenly.

Alice looked at him. "Come again?"

"Bread and butter," he repeated. "Nothing beats the warm, soft flakiness of fresh bread from the oven and melting golden butter. A taste of heaven going down your throat followed by the tangy sweetness of spice tea."

Her stomach rumbled. "You're making it worse."

"Sorry. I was… thinking about the last time I had that. Any commodity is hard to come by, especially bread and butter. I used to eat that all the time with my tea. Best thing in the world if you ask me. What I would do for a slice of bread and butter just to eat one more time."

Thinking back to the refugees in the Great Library, the people in this world had it worse than what Alice was suffering. It was the first time she ever came in contact to such hunger. Of course, she knew that her world had similar problems and she read and seen it on the news. However, it was different to see it firsthand and so up close and personal. To think how easy it was to take things for granted.

"I take it, it was your favorite food?" Alice asked softly.

"Yes. Many years ago. Now my favorite is whatever I can get my hands on," he replied humorlessly. "What about you? What do you Oysters like to eat the most?"

"Hmm… pizza," Alice answered. "Actually, I would kill for a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese all gooey and messy just the way I like it."

"Pizza?" Hatter repeated, puzzled. "What is that?"

"Oh there are so many ways to describe a pizza. It comes in so many different shapes and sizes and toppings that would make your head spin."

"Like what?"

"You can get a round shape, square, rectangle, and deep-dish. Its bread with tomato sauce poured all over with mozzarella cheese and you can have your pick on what you want on top. There's pepperoni, ham, sausage, mushrooms, onions, peppers, pineapple, tomato slices, anchovies, olives, chicken. Then there's the choice of crusting. It can be stuffed with cheese, sprinkled with cinnamon or cheese or garlic, and be spiraled or the normal style. There are specialty pizzas such as vegetarian or meat lovers and it can be crazy with barbeque chicken or hamburger or chicken Caesar or fruit. And there are the famous pizzas from Chicago and New York City. No matter where you go pizza can be transformed to suit one's taste buds."

Her eyes took on a dreamy, faraway gaze as she imagined biting into a slice as she talked about it. Somehow, that appeared to appease her appetite for a short bit.

"Wow." Hatter was intrigued by this pizza. It sure sounded a lot better than his bread and butter. And even tastier.

"Oh yeah," Alice said with a grin. "And the best thing? You can eat it whenever. Lunch, dinner, and even breakfast. But if you're going to eat it for breakfast, then it should be cold."

"How about tea-time?"

She laughed. "Even tea-time. Though, I never had pizza with tea before. Beer or pop, yes. Hey, if we get out of this, we should do that."

"What?" He wasn't sure if he heard her correctly.

"We could do pizza. I bet you're a pepperoni and ham guy."

"I'll have to take your word for it," he chuckled nervously. As tempting as that sounded, Hatter was beginning to have second thoughts about leaving Wonderland. Being in this place… this once majestic palace… it really got him thinking about the future of Wonderland. Maybe there was a chance that this world could be just as grandeur in its glory years.

But it was only a thought.

And spending more time with Alice…

He didn't want to think about how his heart sped up at the idea.

"Jack liked mushrooms and pineapples. I'm not too crazy about mushrooms, but he loved them nevertheless."

"Oh."

Jack again.

For some (unknown) reason, this Jack Chase was really rubbing off on Hatter in the wrong way. He never met the man, but he was already becoming annoyed with him.

Yet, there was no more time left to ponder over these matters.

"_Hey nonny nonny…_"

Charlie was back with dinner.

The End


End file.
